


The Thing Is

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Future, M/M, Season/Series 05, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-17
Updated: 2005-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-27 09:25:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12078258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: A shmoopy little post-finale ficlet.  Un-betaed so all mistakes are mine.  My first posted fic so comments would be appreciated.





	The Thing Is

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The thing is, you are always the one who leaves.

 

The first time you left him, it wasn’t your fault. Chris Hobbs made the decision for the both of you with a carefully placed swing to your skull. He landed you in the hospital for a whole summer, destroyed your hand and for a while, your spirit. Brian never visited. From what you’ve pieced together of your friends vague allusions to that time period; he spent most of it in a drunken haze fucking away his guilt.

You weren’t out of the hospital a week when he let you to move into his loft.

 

The second time you left him, you thought it would be for forever. After a year with Brian, you felt like you had compromised all of yourself. Ethan came out of nowhere and swept you off your feet with a violin and promise of the kind of love Brian wouldn’t give. You slept with him, and kissed him and knew his name and did a hundred other things that broke the rules you made Brian agree to. In the end, you let Brian push you away and left him for Ethan. It was a fairly conventional breakup.

Six months later you were fucking in his office. Conventional never really worked for you two.

 

The third time you left him, you were going after someone else’s dream. Despite the odds, you and Michael managed to make a success out of Rage. A multi-million dollar picture deal success. The price was one representative to L.A. Michael had a family and a career to think of but you only had Brian. It didn’t take long for you to jet off. For a while, L.A. shone bright enough to obscure the ‘not really what you wanted with your life’ feeling.

When it burnt out after a couple of months it was comforting to find the loft the same, right down to the empty drawer Brian had laid aside for you before you left.

 

The fourth time you left him, it was for you. You pictured your relationship with Brian as train tracks that had run parallel for a long time but would eventually veer off to different destinations. You realized you wanted a chance to end up in the right place. When he hugged you goodbye, you almost believed it was forever. For a couple of days all you sketched were tracks.

Two weeks later outside the wreckage of Babylon Brian whispered the three words you always wanted to hear and held you like you were something precious. The world felt upside down but perfectly right at the same time.

 

The fifth time you leave him, this time, you are chasing your dream. The dream you’ve had since you were nine years old and filled a sketchbook with your favorite cartoon characters and the chair in your room and your mom’s face and everything you could think of. You wonder if you’ve made a huge mistake, having Brian offer everything you’ve ever wanted and refusing it. You think of that sketchbook and your first sketch of him with his cock hanging out and the look on Lindsey’s face when she read you that artsy cunt’s article and know that you haven’t. 

 

The thing is, you might always be the one who leaves but in the end Brian always takes you back.


End file.
